[1] Or did they plan it that way? Somehow, judging on my later experiences with Italian planning and engineering, I highly doubt it.
[2] They had given us special containers of water for this and for drinking, but most of it was gone by the time we got to it, as was most of the running water. Remember that this was a 8+ hour train ride and there was no way to switch cars or refill water tanks, which made for an interesting experience in the toilet. I think Doug and I shared one container, giving us barely enough to rinse out half our toothpaste. Yuk.
[3] The conductor of the UCD Chamber Singers, where I first sang the piece. Doug and I were of course leaving out the soprano part, though it sounded pretty cool even without it.
[4] No, shorts are not outlawed, but no bare knees or bare shoulders are allowed into the churches. So tank tops and shorts were out for us.
[5] We had waited in a long line at the station to check our bags, but were shooed away when we tried to check them since they looked like backpacks. We were directed to a different line, which was much shorter, that `allowed' backpacks, though it was for the exact same charge of L5000/bag (~$3.50) for the day. Since when are Italians anal about such trivialities?
[6] ...of the boat or the dock!
[7] Plaza of St. Mark, and yes we are talking about St. Mark as in "The Gospel According to..."
[8] Sorry. Lame Aladdin quote.
[9] Remember that in Part II I had said that we bought enough meat and cheese at a grocery store in Vienna for two meals--one a picnic in front of the subway station, and the second here. Knowing that we could have easily spent $30-$40 on a lunch in Venice, that $3 meal of sandwiches, chips, cookies, and soda was a real bargain.
[10] I was stupid enough to wear a short-sleeved shirt that day, and I estimate that I had about a dozen pigeons perching their sharp-clawed feet on my arms. My skin was red and stung all day from the myriad of scratches, but it was worth it.
[11] Pigeons don't take American Express!
[12] They didn't smell any different than your typical river, which just smells like water to me. RS says "All I smell is my shirt", and all we smelled was ourselves. 'Course, that wasn't too hard at that point, considering that we were wearing the same clothes we slept in. Blech. But the canals didn't smell at all--who made up that rumor?
[13] Again, where were they? It was a beautiful Friday, yet we had ample elbow and breathing room to spare, even in the main tourist attraction (the church). Also ironically, most of the people around us were not American or even Japanese, but German! So much for being incredibly crowded with American tourists.
[14] You can probably guess that I'm about to break that stereotype too, and you are right! I think this actually ended up being one of the cheapest days of our trip: $6 something for our bags, $6 something for the boats, $4 to see the brass horses, $1 for pigeons, and $2 for gelato...the rest was free. Hardly the most expensive city in Europe, seeing that you can entertain yourself for free, indefinately sauntering around the waterways and surveying one of the wackiest yet most beautiful cities in the world.
[15] The tower also had a `digital' clock of Roman numerals that flip every five minutes and a dial that also displayed the month, day, and phase of the moon. Pretty well engineered...for the Italians !Or did they lift it, too?
[16] Though the ones on top of the church nowadays are actually copies. I'll talk about the real ones in a paragraph or two.
[17] In RS immortal words once again, "imagine covering a football field with contact lenses." That is how many pieces of glass wallpapered this church.
[18] So named because it is next to the prison, so this was where convicts would get one last look at the beauty of Venice and, for that matter, the beauty of the outdoors, before rotting away in a cell.
[19] Jacob Obrecht was the only famous Renaissance composer who succommed to the Plague. Well, at least we sang a piece by one of his contemporaries, Josquin Desprez, though of course neither of them were Italian.
[20] Although it still ran nearly $30, but it sure is a wonderful keepsake!
[21] Even when we had tried to get lost as an adventure. Gee, how often does that happen?
[22] Though we spent very little in Venice, we knew we would have deeper finacial obligations in Florence...and it was a good thing that we did it then because we had forgotten that banks are not open at all on weekends, and banks of course have better rates and fewer or no fees than the more frequently open `change booths.'
[23] We had waited at the wrong track until about 5:30, stupidly wondering why the train wasn't there yet!
[24] Selfish, yes, but the last thing we wanted was smokers in our compartment.
[25] Remember that in Part II Doug found that the only open hotel was one listed in Frommer's. Though it was costing 50% more than listed, it had sounded cute and convenient, so we made a reservation there for three nights. Big mistake...
[26] As I might have already mentioned, saying that we were using Rick Steves' book often helped increase the quality of service, or at least gave us some recognition. I suppose it was always an easy sign for them as to what kind of tourists we were, based on what guidebook we used. I'd hate to see what the tourists would be like who used only Frommer's!!
[27] I couldn't believe it, but we were starting to know that anyone who endorsed Rick Steves also endorsed his travel attitude and was very becoming to us. Since when does something commercial have an up side?
[28] ...if only he wore one!
[29] More Doug language: meaning `walking around any annoyingly slow people.'
[30] The line was also twice as long each additional time we walked past it during our stay.
[31] Oh great, now we learn that October...not July or August...is peak season in Florence. Way to go, Rick! Had we known, we definately wouldn't have gone there on a weekend! Oh well.
[32] They look like they are indeed imprisoned in the marble because Michelangelo, a slave to inspiration, believed that he did not carve the art but merely chipped away at the marble that was concealing the figures trapped inside.
[33] ...although maybe not as easy to ignore all the stupid people taking flash photographs in an already well-lit hall! And when I say every detail, I mean get your mind out of the sewer! His genitalia are definately not the most impressive part of that ingenious sculpture!
[34] About 1/3 lb, I think...its a good portion for a sandwich, anyway.
[35] The Italians sure are adamant about preserving their art: the original baptistry doors are in a museum and only copies are outside at the actual baptistry, and the original choir loft is out of reach but copies are down low enough for close inspection. I found this to be a good mixture between protecting the art and allowing it to be viewed by the public.
[36] One of the questions I asked is what they were made of, since, unlike David, they looked more like wood than marble. They actually were marble painted over with gold, but that gold had tarnished or faded so badly that only the varnish color of deep brown remained.
[37] Okay, `grain church' must be a confusing term, so here is the explanation: The building was originally used for grain storage until a roof was put on top and it was converted into a church. The interesting part, though, is that huge holes still remain in the pillars where the grain could be released from above. The statues I speak of are of Saints, sculpted by the greats (Rapheal, Donatello, and the like) that embody many of the techniques of David, and seem to leap out of their alcoves in the church's façe;ade.
[38] I know, I know, gelato is not exactly a product of the Renaissance. But I did try the `rice' flavor, and found it to be the most delictable, frozen-rice-pudding-type-ice-cream I'd ever had! I liked it so much that I had the same exact flavor the next day, as did my husband.
[39] I promise that I am not getting any royalties for my strong recommendation; it really was a helpful guide and taught us a great deal about art and its evolution!
[40] Remember that this means `Barbers'. Turns out that the one we found was `Barbiere', which I think means `Barber' (or maybe its the other way around!), Not exact enough for us to want to take our picture in front of it. Rats .
[41] Forget fries, "Would you like spaghetti with that?" What a strange country Italy is!
[42] It ended up being a small 13"x19" poster on heartier card stock than I presumed it to be, so it was easy to roll up, put clothes inside it, and keep it intact for the rest of our journey.
[43] Okay, imagine what is for most people the most memorable part of David, and put sunglasses over it so that it looks like a man with a beard and a large nose. Perfect for my dad (Mr. Family Jewels), especially when I wrote something like "And here we continued our world-wide tour of human anatomy..."
[44] Although we think the divisions of labor were a misnomer, since there was only one numbering system.
[45] After waiting for at least an hour, it really would have sucked if he hadn't.
[46] I don't know what we were thinking, but at the time we were mulling over the idea of devising a quick detour to Barcelona, Spain, even though we had done no research, had absolutely no Spanish money on us, and it would require an entire day on train each way to do so. So we were carefully conserving our train days...only to find that we quickly aborted the Spain idea and thus three of the days went totally unused. Live and learn.
[47] Not at all like you'd expect pizza to be. I think it was a thin, drier crust than American pizza, and had hardly any sauce and little cheese. Good, but different!
[48] Remember that Doug kept trying to recreate his Halstattian mixed salad, to no avail and at unfortunately high cost each time.
[49] Actually, my (oh no pain in the rear) sweetie had insisted we not bring it because he didn't want me taking any more "touristy" pictures for the rest of the afternoon. And then he wondered why we didn't have more photos when we got home!?!
[50] Altogether now..."Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun..."
[51] A reference to my 1990 Estonia Choir Tour where I was part of the unlucky troupe who took 24 solid hours of traveling to get from Leningrad to Helsinki. But if you want to hear that story, you need to read my "Estonia 1990" journal.
[52] Perhaps this statement belongs in the previous chapter on Italian incompetence. Well, don't worry, this isn't the last of it!
[53] No computer printout like the other countries', of course!
[54] ...expecting of course that we would have had a lot more time to do it in!
[55] Though we had brought with us 13 rolls of film--yes, 13, many with 36 exposures--we had only 2 left for our remaining 10 days, so I figured that a good and easy way to spend our remaining Lira would be on some film.
[56] I could have gotten more if I was able to spend the L10,000 bill we had brought from home. It was an older mint, though, and impossible to spend except by changing it at a bank. Since the banks had been closed all weekend, and we didn' have enough time to wait in the incredibly long lines that were plaguing the bank near this station, we were stuck with this $7 souvenir.
[57] Especially since we were spending all day on plenty more trains than just this one!
[58] His first job was probably at Kenny's Pizza, I think.
[59] He sang "I've been working on the railroad", not even in Italian, and he wanted money for that? Only for his silence, certainly.
[60] Safe inside our train car from the cold, rain, and fog. Yes, like every other time on our trip that we were confined to riding the train for the bulk of the day, the weather was horrible. Probably the best part of our Travel Day from Hell.
[61] I'm not sure an explanation is necessary if you have ever travelled next to somebody who gets on your nerves!
[62] Remember that we had been on the train since 6 am and had only eaten our packed breakfast and a small sandwich back in Genoa. I don't think we could have been hungrier.
[63] We also chilled it up, since we were at a table near the door that just wouldn't close. Wind would be one of our fiercest adversaries in Arles, we would soon find out.
[64] I had first misconverted my Francs-to-dollars and thought it would be only $2 as well when I ordered it. Oops.
[65] Unfortunately, no link to Indiana Jones.
[66] Or should it be bit the billet? Sorry.
[67] Each sight would have been 15 F ($3) each, except for the archeology museum for 40F ($8). So as long as the archeology museum was included and we went to the two other sights, it would be worth it...
[68] Like a McDLT and an Arch Deluxe, respectively...opposite of what you'd think.
[69] ...and for the first time on our trip a shockingly cultured and artistic American!
[70] Uh-oh. Sarcasm overload!
[71] We must admit that there was one piece of art we liked, and it was a heart made out of many sets of pliers, but we consider it worthy of an exhibit at a faire, not a supposedly `don't-miss' modern art museum.
[72] I will definately give him credit, though. After we returned home, we wrote him a long letter, expressing some of our joys and complaints about his books, etc. He replied by calling our home in person to thank us, also expressing that "we might be interested in seeing the Provence chapter in the 1997 edition of his book." I guess we weren't the only ones to sense his fabrication.
[73] ...even if we couldn't really soak in the baths. But then again, in 2000-year-old bath water, would you really want to?
[74] First stopping by a store for four huge sachets of "Herbs du Provence" (a wonderful discovery we had already made at home) for only $6! We were eager to bring back tons for family and friends, as well as to put on our own steaks and in our own soups and sauces. It was so cheap there, we should have brought back even more!
[75] We had written him a letter just before we left in September, and said that Friday, October 11th might be the day we'd be in his area. It was amazing to think we were this close to plan after all our changes, and that we caught up with him even though we wrote too late to receive a response from him.
[76] This was not so much determination to see the museum, this was more determination to get our money's worth on the global billet! Luckily for us, it was valid for more than one day!
[77] For instance, like the one rightoutside the Musée, which still lays buried in the dirt.
[78] Say that three times fast!
[79] In a drunk French accent: "It's my family label". Sorry, Raiders quote.
[80] Sorry, but you must admit that you got off easy when I didn't say how we chose not to go Roman around the city all day. But we couldn't help it, since we were talking for the Empire night! And its too bad we never got the guy's name, or else we'd column.
[81] The Pont du Gard is not a city, but the most famous stretch of a Roman aqueduct that spanned all the way into Rome. It is also the single most photographed piece of Roman architecture, but who would have thought that it would be so hard to get to...
[82] " Sunglasses" in case you didn't get it.
[83] (we know that feeling)
[84] Although there were lots of kids there, evidently part of a field trip or perhaps an extended recess. It was heart-warming and amusing to watch them run up a rock surface to the top of a slide, fly down it, then run back up for more...ad infinitum! Glad to know that Nintendo hasn't robbed all kids of simple pleasures.
[85] Don't feel bad if you don't. The only reason I do is because it is a song in Level 2 of the books all my piano students use. That was my main reason for wanting to stop here in Avignon, so that I could tell the kids that I really was there, and that yes, the bridge really is broken.
[86] Hopefully you've seen the movie and understand this reference, but in case you haven't, the most famous and exciting scene in the 1996 release of Mission Impossible is on a TGV from London to Paris. The train appears to be going subsonic speeds, and is very ritzy and posh.
[87] ...and I mean a TUB! I was dying for a bath at this point! No toilet, though, but two sinks. How odd!
[88] "The young married couple". They didn't need our name or passports or anything like that, just a small reference to us as "the couple." I guess they don't get a lot of people like us in there.
[89] This worried me, because in Europe especially, reservations meant $$$, and we were running out of `$$$'!
[90] This was really the first and only time on our trip that the word `cuisine' is really appropriate.
[91] We skipped the cheese, though, because we were getting too full. Or should I say, we cut the cheese?
[92] So even though they were $16-$24 each, these complete meals were really quite reasonable.
[93] Actually, I had thought the cheese was too strong, too, even before he said it. But in American tradition, I was too polite to say so. But in French tradition, it is impolite not to express your feelings on the food, especially if they are bad. Live and learn.
[94] I believed him, because it tasted exactly like liquid grass to me.
[95] Pascal went over and played just one note, which embodied a twang worthy of the greatest country music star, and I could stand no more.
[96] This means something like "totally discusting", and is a comic-strip book in French about one particular character who walks around unshaven, smelly, and wearing only a diaper with his, uh, family jewels visible. Believe me when I say that his adventures--of farting in elevators and blaming the stench on innocent bystanders, or of calling all women `false blondes' in hope that the one who is a real one might show him, us, something, to prove it-- are somehow far more amusing in French than they sound in English.
[97] No, we weren't crazy, because we missed cooking after nearly a month of going without.
[98] No, we weren't being silly and taking the carts some markets have for children to play with--these were the carts!
[99] Strangely enough, it came in a tube like toothpaste. I'm sure glad that I not only had Doug but a native French speaker to assure me that it really wasn't toothpaste! This was the only tomato product available, since there was no tomato sauce to speak of.
[100] And, as you might expect, there really wasn't mozzarella cheese there. The only thing we found looked something like parmesan and mozzarella combined, already grated and put in a package. It looked heavier than it was, though, and we didn't really buy enough. Oh well.
[101] He is a professor at UC Davis from whom Doug and I both took music history classes. He is well known for being an avid fan of Berlioz, and even has a book or two published about the composer. Knowing that Berlioz was a pompous, elitist, impossible man, I think I can see the attraction.
[102] Of course, he couldn't get there either without our help, so Doug picked him up `over the threshold' style while I struggled to bring his wheelchair. Like I said, the things you take for granted.
[103] Things we don't think of...people have to go to a butcher they trust or face the risk of Mad Cow disease. It doesn't only happen in England, you know.
[104] A very eye-opening view for Doug, who had always adopted the "grass is always greener" attitude towards France.
[105] Actually, according to my notebook, Doug referred to it as a "vanilla//chocolate mousse orgasm," but this journal is rated PG-13.
[106] This was the first time ever that we had viewed this as an important requirement, but remember that we had only $2 in French money on us at the time. Plus, as we were to find out, Metz was not a tourist town and thus there was no place to exchange any money over the weekend. Oops.
[107] This is not our bad joke, but theirs. I think that there is an elevator company in Europe named "Schindler", and the Frenchmen at this hotel went to the trouble of making up their own plaque to commerate that this was, indeed, "Schindler's Lift."
[108] Okay, for you X-files fans who want to know, it was one we had never seen that had somthing to do with Gargoyles. Though Doug's French was too rusty to catch it all, it was certainly interesting to hear Mulder with an even more snotty voice and to view Scully as a French woman. Believe me, it really worked that way!
[109] And yes, in France, McDonald's takes credit cards...with a 25 FF minumum ($5). No problem for the two of us, where a Big Mac meal costs 35 FF ($7).
[110] So tasty, in fact, that as I wrote this just now I was compelled to go to the refrigerator and get one in hopes of recreating that memory. Such a victim to the power of suggestion I am, even when the suggestion is my own. Oh well.
[111] Yes, the bitter irony was that Europhilic Doug travelled 10,000 miles to work in `California' all over again.
[112] Well, I guess some things weren't so different!
[113] We estimate that we luckily only missed the first half-hour or so of the service, since it lasted for another hour after we arrived.
[114] Meaning "Oldest church in France, this way"
[115] We were making a habit of this, but certainly not on purpose. I suppose it was unusual to have a shop open on a Sunday, but this one was only open until about 4 pm, which meant that we once again chanced upon it right before it closed.
[116] I would add a list of extremities here: stu*** bi*** dy** cu**...but I like to keep it clean.
[117] No, it was not the vintage, just the brand name...and the only beer in France that was any good.
[118] And it most definately was not that rude and flaky woman from downstairs who lied to us the day before.
[119] Of course, I am getting ahead of myself here, since at this point we hadn't been to Paris yet. But I am using it as a comparison because it probably the most well known and highly regarded cathedral in Europe. But this one, believe me, was better!
[120] It had more than just a giant F in a circle on it...it had the name of the tire shop and directions, but since it was all in French, we found that to be especially cool. Plus you couldn't beat the price!
[121]...until, that is, we tasted them when we got back home! Man, was that the most delicate, rich, melt-in-your-mouth kind of chocolate we'd ever had. And for that cheap, we could have really stocked up. Now we know better.
[122] This was especially good for what it was intended for--hot chocolate with milk and sugar. But it was also stupendous for chocolate cake, pudding, and other recipes. Again, had I known it would be that good...
[123] This was quite odd, yet wonderful. Imagine one of those `Special Dark'-sized candy bars which was already sweetened. After deciphering the French, we discovered that we should melt it down, mix it with 6 egg yolks, and then fold in 6 egg whites and a pinch of salt that were fiercely beaten. After chilling for some 6 hours, that was all to chocolate mousse. No cooking, and yes the eggs remained totally raw. Who would have thought?
[124] Again, very very odd. The chocolate inside the M&Ms was as delicious as any other European chocolate, but the candy shells on the outside were flavored with whatever fruit corresponded closest to the color. Pretty nasty, if you ask me.
[125] The one I found was meant for me! The France one was black and gold had a chicken on it!
[126] This was not a totally random guess. All the way up and down the Champs-Élysées the light poles sported French and German flags. We asked one of the many policemen why the German flags were there, and they said it was because the German President was visiting.
[127] We also finally learned what the other `half' typically was in those cute, Germanic structures with the wooden beams across them: mud and dung! And to think that nowadays it is a coveted architectural style, but back then it was a sign of poverty.
[128] And no, this does not mean that Doug is gay. I am referring to the intellectual, cigar-smoking, coffee-house-type of atmosphere the store probably would have had even in its conception in the `gay' 20s period of Paris.
[129] Yeah, maybe that's not a real steep price for bread, but we were getting spoiled to delectable 40¢ bagettes which would easily feed both of us.
[130] One of those checkpoints made us check Doug's backpack, since we had a few crumbs of food left in it, but at least that was free and welcome anyway.
[131] ...which we actually stumbled upon while looking for something else. RS says "Where is she this week?" and he was right. It was not anywhere near where he said it was, as the labyrnthian floorplans of the Louvre attest!
[132] Apparently, the darkness of Da Vinci's paintings were not neccessarily due to a misunderstanding of light patterns or to a dark and somber mood, but of the varnish he used which had turned brown over the years. Interesting.
[133] We sent him a metro postcard, since it also had the maps of the commuting RER trains, and RER are his initials.
[134] Even funnier was the Frenchman's answer (do not forget the shotty French accent): "I do not know", he snobbed, scratching the mussed hair on his head, "you can ask them."
[135] Remember that we still had three valid days left. Out of 15, that was a lot that we never used. Next time...
[136] I had gone in to possibly buy a bottle of Chartreuse, but the one they had was huge and $35--too much for me.
[137] And boy did we ever play a lot of cards!
[138] Multiplicity multiple times? That's a self-fullfilling pun if I ever saw one! The only better one would have been Groundhog Day!